


I Miss Him

by DianaandAlicia



Series: Post Good Out Here [2]
Category: Fear the Walking Dead (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Family Feels, Father-Daughter Relationship, Grief/Mourning
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-16
Updated: 2018-05-16
Packaged: 2019-05-07 21:48:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,011
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14680155
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DianaandAlicia/pseuds/DianaandAlicia
Summary: Three months after the group finds the farm house, Alicia takes baby steps in her recovery.





	I Miss Him

**Author's Note:**

> This is the second installment for the Post Good Out Here series. There is a 3 month time skip between the end of the first story and this. MeteoraAngel was my beta for this story, thank you so much Sam!

It’s been three months since Nick passed away. Three months since Althea, John, Morgan, Alicia, Victor and Luciana found a home. Three months since Alicia’s spoken to anyone.

Two days after Nick died, the little group found an abandoned house. It was big, with six bedrooms, one for each person. When they arrived at the house, after making sure it was clear from the dead and after choosing who got which bedroom, Alicia changed. It was like something inside of her broke.

She went into her bedroom and settled on the bed, not coming out for three months.

Everyone in the house took turns checking up on her, but Althea noticed that the only people Alicia seemed remotely comfortable around were Luciana and Victor. She was tense around everyone else, and for good reason. Despite living with Morgan, John and Althea for three months, Alicia knew nothing about them. Her brother died the same day she met the three and two days later she shut herself into her room to be by herself and grieve. 

Since she hasn’t joined the house, she didn’t know what it was like to live with the three, like how Victor and Luciana knew. Sure, someone would bring her three meals a day and stay with her until she ate, and either Luciana or Althea made sure to check up on her and make sure she took trips to the bathroom throughout the day, but she never acknowledged them or responded to their worried questions.

On the frequent occasions where she’d wake up in the night screaming and crying for Nick, seeing his death again and again in her head, it was always Victor that came to her bedside to comfort her. 

Little murmurs and whispers of “It’s going to be ok Baby Girl.” and “I got you Sweetheart.” could be heard coming from the girl’s room, and Victor would just sit there and hold her, sometimes for a few minutes, sometimes for a few hours. The latter was more frequent.

Alicia’s nightmares were so frequent, it wasn’t even surprising anymore to go up to her room in the morning and see him sleeping in the rocking chair in the corner of the room, Alicia situated on his lap, sleeping soundly.

Althea had no idea how Alicia and Strand met, or if they knew each other from before the end of the world, but she did know one thing. Victor might not be Alicia’s father, but there was no doubt that he was her daddy. He took care of her the most in the house and he was the only one that she seemed to trust with her life. He was her father figure and she was the closest to a daughter that he’s ever had.

It’s been three months and this new living situation was the norm for the group. It was early evening, after supper, and everyone except Alicia was gathered in the living room. Despite their rocky start, Morgan, John and Althea have become Luciana and Victor’s friends. They all felt comfortable with each other and everything was going well.

They were sharing funny stories from their past lives, before the world ended, when they heard a creak on the hard wood floor. Everyone turned to the doorway and saw Alicia, looking uncertain and nervous as she stood in place. She was already in her pajamas, curly hair damp from the bath that Luciana gave her.

“You’re welcome to join us when you’re ready Angel.” Strand said, giving Alicia a smile. He was happy that she finally left her bedroom other than to use the bathroom, and he was proud that she ventured far enough from her bed to come downstairs.

All the others smiled and nodded in agreement with Strand’s statement. Considering everything Alicia’s been through, this appearance was quite an accomplishment and they were all proud of her.

Alicia nodded and slowly made her way over to the couch where Victor was sitting. She sat next to him and curled up, getting comfortable.

“What are you guys talking about?” She asked slowly. She had to get a feel for her voice, especially since the only words she’s uttered since Nick’s death was his name as she screamed in her sleep. The small sentence was the first set of words that she's said in three months.

“We were telling funny stories about our lives before the dead started walking.” Victor explained, cuddling Alicia close to him.

“Do you have any?” Althea asked, wondering if the young girl was ready to participate.

Alicia nodded and went on to tell the ‘This Land is Your Land’ story, the same story she told Christine in the ranch pantry so long ago.

When she finished, she got really quiet before whispering, “I miss him.”

Victor nodded and pressed a kiss to Alicia’s hair. “We know Angel. We miss him too.” He said gently, referring to himself and Luciana, since Morgan, John and Althea never really got to know Nick.

“Do you think he’s watching out for us? Like in Heaven or something?”

“I wouldn’t be surprised. You and Luciana were the loves of his life. He would never let anything bad happen to you two.” Victor said after a minute. It was true. Luciana was Nick’s wife and he loved her very much. Alicia was his baby sister, so the need to be the protective older brother was strong in him, especially after what happened at the dam. Nick liked to say that Lucy and Alicia were his girls.

That answer made Alicia give him a small smile, her first one since Nick died. It looks like they were making all sorts of progress tonight.

Alicia only lasted about ten more minutes before she started getting antsy. Victor knew that her seventeen minutes of participation drained her, and they were going to have to take baby steps with how long Alicia would be able to handle being outside her bedroom.

Victor looked around the room and could tell that everyone else knew it too. “Alicia would you like to go up to your bedroom and rock for a little bit?” 

It was part of her routine now. The little group usually had supper around 6:30 pm and 8:30 was around the time that Alicia usually fell asleep for the night. At 8:00, Victor would go up to Alicia’s room and rock in the rocking chair, with her on his lap. As they rocked, he would tell her little stories, nonsense to try and make her feel better, running his fingers through her damp curly hair. 

In the hour-long time frame that it took between Alicia finishing her meal and ‘rocking time’, bedtime preparations were happening. When Alicia would be done eating, Luciana would take her to the bathroom and give her a bath and brush her teeth for her. Alicia was in such a bad place with her grief, if no one did these things for her, they would never get done.

The girl was capable of handling her bathroom matters on her own, she just needed Althea or Luciana to remind her to go, because she’s too out of it to remember most of the time.

Luciana knew how Alicia felt. She lost her own brother, and Nick had been the first to comfort her. Unlike Alicia though, Luciana didn’t see her brother die, or see his dead body.

She considered Nick her husband, and he had considered her his wife, even if they didn’t have the ceremony or legal papers saying that they were united in holy matrimony. Her grieving process was very different from Alicia’s though, and she knew that Nick’s death would be hard for Alicia, because she was his younger sister. Nick had been a constant in Alicia’s life since the day she was born. Almost 21 years of being siblings and best friends, all gone.

Alicia nodded at Victors question and the two slowly stood up. They were about to go upstairs when Alicia did the unexpected. She crossed the small space and went straight over to Althea, giving her a hug. She repeated the same actions with John and Morgan before going over to Luciana to get a hug from the woman she considered her sister in law.

Everyone sat there shocked. Any sorts of affection from the younger girl were only reserved for Victor and Lucy. Alicia had never hugged John, Morgan or Althea before but this action alone established that she trusts them.

When the two got up to her bedroom, Victor sat in the comfy rocking chair and guided Alicia into his lap. She curled up the best she could, resting her head against the crook of his neck, and he started to gently rock.

“Alicia we are all very proud of you for coming down with us tonight. We all love you very much and this is a big step for you.”

“Even Althea, John and Morgan? They love me too?”

“I know you don’t know them that well Darling, but they care about you. They express worry for you and when they bring up food for you, they do it because they want you here. They want you alive.”

“I wish he was here.” Alicia murmured, hot tears starting to run down her cheeks. She missed her brother so much and it hurt so bad. 

“I know Princess. But there’s nothing that could have been done.”

“He could have come back. We could have hacked his jaw off, cut his hands off and let him come back. That way he wouldn’t be able to bite or grab us.”

“No Alicia. Keeping Nick as a pet after turning wouldn’t be healthy. Even if he wouldn’t be able to hurt us it wouldn’t be right. He is resting in peace right now, and as time would go on, if he would still be here as an infected, he’d be rotting, and not fun to be around.”

“But he’d still be here with me. It’s not fair.”

“Oh, I know Sweetie. It isn’t fair. Nick didn’t deserve what he got, but now he’s in a place where he’s at peace, and he doesn’t have to worry about our world. He’s looking down at you right now and he’s so proud of you. I know that for a fact.”

Alicia was quiet at that, but she sniffled every once in a while, her tears starting to make her nose run.

Victor quietly pulled out a handkerchief and wiped Alicia’s cheeks off, before putting the cloth up to her nose. “Blow.” He instructed, situating her so she was sitting upright in his lap.

Alicia did as she was told, and once she was done blowing her nose, she felt a little better.

“That’s a good girl.” Victor praised, helping Alicia up and walking her to her bed. He helped her in and tucked her under the covers. The last thing that he did was go over to the closet and pull out a plaid shirt. It was one of Nick’s flannels and Alicia slept with it like it was a baby blanket. It was one of the only comfort objects that she owned at the moment and she wasn’t going to let it go unless she was dead.

Once Alicia had the shirt, Victor left the room after giving her a good night hug and kiss. “We’ll be here if you need us.” He reminded, before shutting the door, only leaving it open a crack. Victor then went downstairs to be by the others until it was time to go to bed.

He knew that Alicia’s recovery would be long and hard, as these things weren’t easy, but with the help and support from the others, things will get better if they take it slow and offer as much love and support as they can.

It might take some time, but Alicia was going to get better. Victor was going to make sure of it, and nothing will stand in his way to accomplish that goal.

**Author's Note:**

> I hope y'all liked it! Next update should come sometime in the beginning of next week.


End file.
